The Hardest Part Is...

... waking up in the morning knowing that I am alone in my room and my eternal companion is not there with me.

... not being able to stand in the doorways to my kids' rooms and watch them sleeping.

... knowing that my kids have all started school, except Luke as he starts next week, and I couldn't be there to give them a father's blessing.

... missing out on all the little things and sometimes the big things my family has done while I've been away.

... not being able to hold Aubrey, Preston, Madison, Abigail, and Luke in my arms and just hug them.

... that time doesn't seem to be going as fast as I would like.

... my wardrobe is pretty much the same day in and day out (just kidding, I mean it is but it's not really a big deal).

Everything else doesn't really matter. I mean if you don't have family, a solid, strong family, you don't really have anything.

Seriously...

...it has been a while. So here I go. So much has happened in fact too much has happened lately that I just have not been myself. I am in a funk, and it stunk. So now I have to pick myself back up and get on with life. Time has flown and I just haven't had the heart or energy to do anything about blogging. Life is funny sometimes. When I am with everyone things are good, especially when we aren't home, and then when the silence falls and I begin to think of all that is going on it gets hard. I don't know how to express my feelings. I don't know what to say. It has been a struggle. Life has been good and I have had a lot of great family who have been here for me. I know they are doing all they can to help me and the kids. No matter what it sucks to think Chris isn't here and I feel truly empty. I know Heavenly Father is with me and my loved ones have been here but still it is not the same unless Chris is here. I think the hardest part of it all is that I can't just call and say, "Hey Guess What?" I think I have talked to my Dad more in the last few months than ever before. Thanks for lending your ear, helping with advice and just taking a lunch break to help in the yard. Love Ya!

Since my last post school has ended, we spent the first week with Andy, Shay and their kids. It was great. The whole family went to Heber Valley Girls Camp and it was one of the funnest camping trips I have experienced. Chris celebrated Father's Day and our anniversary on the same Sunday and then his birthday a few days later. We have dragged Lala all over Lagoon. Chris came home for two splendid weeks. Preston turned 12 and was ordained by him. My parents kidnapped me and the kids and we finally floated the Madison River. (Madison's name sake.) Preston left for scout camp. That is right he was gone one whole week and I think I was the one who got homesick for him. It stunk, (I don't know what I'll do when he is on his mission.)but I was very excited, happy, and ready to see him go be off on his own. Even if it was for a week. My birthday was good. Dani took me and the kids to lunch. It was great to just hang out with her and be with the kids. I admire her for the job she is doing as a mother. I love Coil birthdays. We always seem to drag them out for a week or so. August is now here and summer is almost over and my bud will be gone for half a day. I am so happy for him, so sad for me. Mike and Erin have announced they are having another baby. What a miracle this cute family has experienced with each child. I am so happy for them. I have a triathlon in a week and am ready for the race. Praying I remember to unclip my shoes. Yeah it sucks to fall. At least this time the only one that saw me was my biking partner. She got a good laugh. I don't know where the graceful gene went but it seems that us girls just can't seem to do anything without getting some bruises. After the race we are heading to Montana for one last trip. I am so excited. It is exactly what I need before school starts and Chris gets home. If Chris ever had the option of moving north I would do it in a heartbeat. How peaceful it is. I feel so close to my Heavenly Father there. The beauty is too much for words. (Pictures will be posted soon.)Hopefully by Halloween we will all be together again.

That about sums it up. Between Chris being home, then heading back and going to lagoon it has been a very fast summer. Almost too fast. For now all I can do is take it one day at a time and enjoy the children that have been gifted to me. Life is good.

The Wonderful Witches of Oz...

...starring Madison Joy and Abigail Brooklynn.
For the last 9 months I have been faitfully running the girls to play practice on Thursdays. Well tonight was the grand payoff for all the running around. I am so proud of the girls and the hard work they have put into this play.


Madison did an awesome job as the crow. She was hilarious. I was so proud of how well she spoke into the mike and how she said her lines so clearly. She was about the only crow that got the crowd to laugh. (That was because everyone could understand her.) Way to caw-caw Madi.

Munchkin Mayor starring Abigail. She did an awesome job. She had a lot of lines and new everyone of them. She was perfect. I am so proud of her. She told me tonight as I was tucking her in bed how proud she was of herself because she got her first trophy. I was proud of her for how cute she was on the stage.



It was so much fun. I loved going there and watching them perform.





I can't wait for next year. What fun it is going to be. I love you Madison, and Abigail. Bravo, Bravo!

Lukee's a graduate

Dad and my Brothers!

So last week was a crazy week. I had my first 5k of the summer. I thought the race was at 9am and my dad said he would be up that morning to take care of the kids. I told him not to worry. Later found out the race was at 8am and I forgot to tell Dad. I didn't he think he would be to my place before the race and I could call him when done and tell him not to worry about coming up. My back started to vibrate right before we started. It was my Dad calling to say he had brought the kids breakfast and they were all eating McDonald's. He spent the day with us. He folded my laundry and cleaned the kitchen. Seriously, I don't think I ever remember him folding laundry let alone kids laundry. My mom was very good about it and had us kids fold it before he got home. It was fun to watch him with the kids.

We were going to fly kites but there was no wind. He said he would come up if there was wind on Sunday and we could fly kites. So Sunday morning on our way to church the wind was going nuts. You had to hold your dress down to keep from flashing everyone in the parking lot. The kids were so excited because that meant that Grandpa would come and fly kites. We called him and he came. Of course, with our luck by the time he got here there was no wind. Nothing, notta, zilch. Seriously, what is up with that? Ever since I have lived this far west we have never had a problem with wind. Usually it doesn't stop. The kids were bummed but Grandpa stayed. As I was getting dinner ready Preston was on one his big brother trips. He would not stop with teasing Madi. He so knows how to push her buttons. (Check out her blog and you will know what I mean.) So I am in the kitchen trying to get dinner done and yelling at Prest to stop. My Dad comes in and yells "Andy, stop..." I start to laugh at him and say "Didn't you mean Preston?" He looks at me and realizes what he said. It was so funny. The days I grew up with brothers was always an interesting adventure. Andy knew how to push my buttons, and Mike was right there. It was great. The three of us were best buds growing up. Thanks for letting me tag a long with you guys. (I was too much of a tomboy and couldn't stand the girl stuff. I always wanted to be out and exploring, not doing hair and make-up like the rest of the girls.)
Since that incident I have thought a lot about Andy and Mike. Through the years we dished it out to each other but we also took care of each other. Any time they had a bully issue the bigger sister would step up and take care of it. Kids learned not to mess with Andy and Mike because that meant Aubrey would come and fix their problem. We had great times staying up late playing games, watching movies or just hanging out. When Chris and I were first married Andy and Mike would show up at our apartment with their friends and play nintendo all night. There were nights I would get home from the ER or fire station and all the boys would be playing games. I would go to bed and the next morning they would all be sacked out. We had many adventures as siblings and I hope that my kids have that also. Growing up I was always the nurse, patient, or bad guy. They never would play barbies with me.
Andy has done everything he has wanted too in life. He is an emergency room doctor, a returned missionary, but most importantly a father and husband. He has always been good with kids and a great example to me in how to be patient and loving to children. Andy thanks for the late night calls letting me know how your night went with patients. Thank you for the chats. I know your time is precious and when you take time to check on me that means a lot.
Mike has had a great life. Through serving a spanish speaking mission he was able to get a job as a police officer. (About 80% arrested are illegals that didn't speak English.) He worked in a horrible environment, but through the academy he was able to revisit his mission field and check up on a gorgeous young woman. He called me the first night he saw her and I told him he was going too marry her. Sure enough he did. He has been amazing. I love the calls and visits. He has taken Preston under his wing. He checks on my regularly and offers his time off to come up and help me out. He doesn't have much time and sometimes I know it is out of his way but he has never complained. Thanks for your love and time.

Dad, this wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for you and Mom. You always taught us that family was first. You taught us to love each other, but I think most importantly you taught us to be friends. I know I wouldn't have the realtionships I do with them if it wasn't for the friendships we developed with each other growing up. Thank You for the love and lessons of life.

Serving in Afghanistan

Greetings one and all. I often think about posting on the blog, but then find myself at a loss of what to say. My days are often the same and so to me it doesn't seem exciting. More often than not I am dealing with people who for whatever reason have decided they want to try and mail home contraband items. Most of the time it's not a big deal, but every once in a while it is because of the nature of the item, or if there was obvious intent to bypass the system of checks and balances we have in place. First, every piece of personal mail is subject to an open parcel inspection, as are most business or military unit related parcels. Unfortunately, some things get by the inspectors for any number of reasons I won't elaborate on. Second, every piece of mail that leaves theater is subject to x-ray examination. If it's in the box or package and shouldn't be we will find it. If we find something on the x-ray then we open the parcel, search for and remove the contraband item, and then reseal the package with a memorandum explaining to the addressee why the box was opened. Sometimes I have to involve law enforcement because of the nature of the items I find. As you can imagine bringing law enforcement into the picture always complicates things.

Thankfully, most days don't involve such instances but all too many do. I hope everyone is well that reads this. I look forward to seeing you all again soon.

Chris

He's a hero...

(This post is from Aubrey's mom, because she will never take credit for all the good things she does)


He's a hero...


...to me too.




Preston, that is, is a hero to me. He was the one of 800 children in his elementary school chosen to speak at the Freedom Assembly on his hero, his dad, Chris. He spoke of his dad being his hero and that his mom is a hero too. It was a beautiful reminder of what this country is made of...heroes like Chris, Aubrey...and Preston.










...and Preston's grandpa is a hero too, for taking him aside and praying with him that Preston would have courage to stand before a VERY large audience and not be afraid. Preston said it worked, that it made him feel so much better. Thank you Matthew for being Preston's hero today too.

Dualing...

...all the way to St. George and back

Feeling it in the end! But I did it.

Today was a glorious day. For those that don't know I accomplished a duathlon today. it consists of run/bike/run. I hate running so this was a challenge. I love biking and swimming. The race was in Tuacahn in southern Utah. Absolutley gorgeous.
Yesterday I left and had Madi, Abbie, Luke, and Mom with me. Preston stayed behind to go ice fishing with Uncle Mike. I think I would rather run than freeze. Anyways it took about 4 1/2 hours to get to St. George. We then went to check in for the race. I saw the map and decided to drive it to get a feel for it. Let's just say I was not excited and thinking what have I done. Lots of hills and 2 different canyons.
So this morning I got up and loaded up the bike, took my friend who came down for the race and we headed off. Mom decided to stay back with the kids because I was thinking it would take 2 hours with all the hills. We got there in time to see that it was not going to be crowded and that it would be a very relaxed environment.
They gathered the crowd explained the rules and then we were off. First was the 1.5 mile run. I accomplished that in 14 minutes 30 seconds. Very proud considering you run part way down a canyon and then run back up. Then got on the bike and was off down the canyon. This time all the way down, went through town then headed back to the canyon. Get to the road and it forks and you go up another canyon. Imagine a steep climb for over 2 miles. That's right uphill. I just put my head down and pedaled. Where I train is mostly flat so it was a good ride. (I am thankful however because about a month and a half ago I bought an exercise bike so that I wouldn't get any flats 10 miles away from home and have stranded kids. It really helped me for the race.) Coming down was the fun part. I didn't have to pedal. I just let my bike take me and my legs were able to recover. I figure I was going about 30mph down. It was freaky fun. After coming down you then make a quick right and go back up the other canyon to the transition. Problem is I missed the right and kept going. About a hundred feet after I realized what I did and had to turn around. Totally stinks. Oh well, at least I didn't fall. Then made it back up the canyon in all took me about 50 minutes to bike 12 miles. Wish the time was better but at least I wasn't last. I kept having dreams about that and a very hungry mountain lion attacking. Then comes the fun part. I got to run; again. Yeah! (sarcasm) This time it took about 18 minutes. At least I ran the whole time. I didn't stop. So proud. Close to the finish you have a big hill then dip and then another big hill and at the top is the finish. My mind kept saying, "There it is, see the finish," but my legs were saying, "Are you crazy! What are you thinking?! Just stop!" I tried to sprint to the end and thought I was then realized I was going in slow motion. Still running though. You know those dreams or on cartoons where you are running fast but the place you want to get to is getting further away? Well that is what I experienced today. BUT I DID IT!

So in all it took 1 hour 22 minutes and 7 seconds. Awesome! I am so proud because I really did want to come in under an hour and a half.
Just one side note. Mom and kids didn't make it to the race so I have no pics. I know; I can't believe I went somewhere with Mom and no pics to prove it. I do however ache in the end so that is my proof I accomplished my goal for the month. I also did it beacause time goes by when I am training for a race, which in the end means we are closer to Chris being home.

Overall, the best and funnest race I have ever done. I can't wait until next year. I have decided this is a new Tyler Family tradition. Even though I maybe the only one doing it. Who cares? It was worth it!

A Mother's Love

I have been touched many times in my life by people I may have only met once or by someone I have never met. When I was 8 months pregnant with Preston I was working the ER one Sunday morning. Paramedics called and said they were coming in hot with a full arrest. They then said it was an 11 month old boy. It was all I could do to work. The nurses saw my face and got me busy doing other tasks. They came and pronounced the death of this beautiful boy. How he died is another story. I was always touched by the Love his Mother had. I will never forget this beautiful boy or his mother's grief. She had a love only a mother could. I was beginning to understand because I was 1 month away from giving birth to a beautiful baby who may or may not live. We all know that outcome.

Two years ago while Chris was in California for training his Mother called me to let us know that little Tabitha had passed away. So heartbreaking. Chris' brother Matt had lost his precious 3 month old to sids.

This past week another beautiful child returned to our Father in Heaven. Chris' cousin Heidi had a baby the day Grandpa Young died. The family considered him a gift from Heaven. So when this beautiful child passed it was a shock. He was 10 weeks old and beautiful, healthy, happy and oh so loved. His mother knew the minute she walked into the room he was gone. She had felt his spirit, felt love, and peace. Even though she knew he was gone she still tried CPR. She later stated that she didn't know why she did it because she knew he wasn't coming back. I know why she did. A mother's love.

A mother's love is something that no one can take from you. It is a love that not everyone gets to experience. It is a gift from GOD. With a mother's love you will sacrifice, you will give up your wants and needs for theirs. As my heartaches for these mothers I hope that they have or will find peace to carry on only the way a mother could for the love of their lost child.

Pictures

Chris out on tour. About once a month he goes around and inspects other posts offices. He has been safe so far.

Happy Birthday MOM!

I would post a pic of my wonderful mom but since she takes most of them and I don't have all my pics on the computer yet, I don't have one. So let me just tell you about my mom.
Two weeks ago I had a melt down. Things were breaking, hadn't heard from Chris and finally just hit the wall. I didn't tell anyone what was going on, but as soon as I heard her voice on the phone I broke down. It's funny, I am married have 4 kids and when stuff hits the fan I can put on a good face but as soon as I hear her voice I loose it. She said she was getting off work and coming up. I told her not too. She still came. Took care of the kids, helped around the house, and saved my day. That is the kind of mom I have. She has always put me first and not just me but the whole family. She will do whatever it takes for us to be happy in life. She has always served others. I remember many dinners where she was making way too much. We would ask why and her response was that someone in the ward just had surgery, or were sick, or had a baby. Sometimes she did it because she was guided by the spirit. She has always been guided by the spirit. Her life is centered around Christ; therefore around us; her family.
So here is to my MOM. The woman who gave birth to me, who raised me, who loved me unconditionally, who will do whatever it takes to make sure I am well cared for, who loves my family, who loves to laugh, who loves to be with the family, who includes everyone, who has a testimony and lives it daily. She doesn't teach it; she does it. I love you MOM! I am thankful for you and I am very blessed to have you.
Love Me

Happy Birthday Madison!

Happy Birthday Madison! I love you soo much. I can't believe it has been 10 years since you came into my life. You have been a great Joy! You are loved very much by everyone. It has been an awesome experience to be your mother. I have loved watching you grow over the years. You have become such a beautiful young woman.
For Madison's birthday she was able to take three friends to the spa for a massage. We have been so blessed in the new neighborhood, because she has been able to make many friends. She had Brooklyn, Ashlyn, and Jordan come with her. They had a blast.

She was in heaven. They had so much fun. What a great day it was.

Emry, and Abigail tagged along. They all walked out feeling like Princesses. It was so fun to watch them. I can't believe that she is moving on to bigger and better things in life.

Happy Birthday Madi. I love you soo much. You are kind, gentle, compassionate, loving, huggable, cuddly, accomplish what you put your mind to, sweet, happy, sincere, and most importantly loved by everyone. You will be able to be who want, do what you want, and achieve any task you wish. I love you dearly.

May you continue to endure to the end and accomplish that which has been placed before you at this time in your life. We are blessed to have you in our family.

Love,

Dad, Mom, Preston, Abigail, and Luke

Finally...

After four weeks of using someone else computers, in-laws, parents and sis I am back. It feels so good to be connected again. I love it. So here is the update.
On December 7 Chris' Grandpa Young passed away. It was good. He was surrounded by his family in his home just the way he wanted it. His funeral was on December 14, and was peaceful and very well attended by family and friends. Chris' mother Kathy stayed with me and the kids. We had an enjoyable time with her.
December 22, I went to a bread making class by my cousin. She runs a fun website www.breadmadeeasy.com (Plug for ya Linds.) It was fun. The only time I have ever made bread by hand without a machine was when I was in High School and it was homework. But this bread is the yummiest. I finally made my first loaf this past week and the kids have told me to just make bread and quit buying it. I think I will. I think I will make cinnamon rolls today. Something that isn't out of a can. That just doesn't seem normal anymore.
Christmas Eve day Caleb showed up unannounced and spent hours and I mean hours with the kids in the basement. He brought his wii. Talk about entertainment. It was great because I was able to deep clean the house. Then we went to my sister D's house and went sledding. Her backyard is literally the mountains in Farmington. What a blast. Thanks to two of the uncles we narrowly missed the ER. They encouraged my kids to start at the top of the very steep hill with saucers. Seeing how I have taught them to obey their elders they did as they were told. I won't name names here but just a reminder that Jake while you were encouraging I was getting your boy ready for sledding and Caleb what goes around comes around wait until you have kids and see what Prest teaches them. hahaha
Christmas Day was great. My parents came over the night before so I wouldn't be alone. I am so truly blessed. They got up with the kids and we all opened presents together while Dad set up Luke's car tracks and Mom shot everyone with her nerf gun the kids got her. We then played an arousing game of Snorta. Totally fun game, if you come to visit we must play. Later on we went to Chris' parents and spent the evening there. It was great to hang out with them and not have to do anything but just be there.
The rest of the vacation was spent playing with friends, and going to families.
So glad school is back. Next week I start a new project. I am painting Chris' cousins room for her. I will get pics of that, it is going to be so cute. I love painting when Chris is gone so I have something to keep me busy.
I have also started running again and training for tri's. I can't wait to get back on the road and in the water. It is going to be a good year.
Last but not least I can say that Chris gets home this year. Yeah for us!!!

I am not ignoring you.

Three weeks ago my computer crashed. And I mean crashed, fried, burned up, died. It has been hard. I was barely able to get the last post up. I was afraid I was going to loose everything. I think I lost a lot. I had a bunch of cute pictures, new songs from itunes and primary stuff. Hopefully I will get it back. Chris was smart. Before he left he bought an external hard drive and hooked it up. He backed everything up and then programmed it to back up everytime I turned on the computer. Love ya babe. Anyways I have learned to live without a computer. Hasn't been that hard. Right now I am using my sis's computer. She got it a few years ago for graduation and it is old. (HAHAHA) I never thought anything she had would be old. It won't let me click on someone's blog and link to it. I am trying but since I have never had to type in the addresses for blogs I don't know anyones. So I am sorry. I am not being rude, or inconsiderate, or ignoring you (maybe a few I am) but hopefully this Friday I will have a new hard drive and will be back in business. Although it has been nice to not have kids fight over who's turn it is on the computer or staying up late to surf the web. The only thing I have missed is my chats with Chris. We seem to say more to each other when chatting online than on the phone. Probably 'cause kids can't read as quickly as we post. But they do hear way tooooo well. I know this is jumbled I am just trying to avoid paying bills. Stinks when everything is online and you are trying to catch up.