Friday, August 6, 2010

Seriously...

...it has been a while. So here I go. So much has happened in fact too much has happened lately that I just have not been myself. I am in a funk, and it stunk. So now I have to pick myself back up and get on with life. Time has flown and I just haven't had the heart or energy to do anything about blogging. Life is funny sometimes. When I am with everyone things are good, especially when we aren't home, and then when the silence falls and I begin to think of all that is going on it gets hard. I don't know how to express my feelings. I don't know what to say. It has been a struggle. Life has been good and I have had a lot of great family who have been here for me. I know they are doing all they can to help me and the kids. No matter what it sucks to think Chris isn't here and I feel truly empty. I know Heavenly Father is with me and my loved ones have been here but still it is not the same unless Chris is here. I think the hardest part of it all is that I can't just call and say, "Hey Guess What?" I think I have talked to my Dad more in the last few months than ever before. Thanks for lending your ear, helping with advice and just taking a lunch break to help in the yard. Love Ya!

Since my last post school has ended, we spent the first week with Andy, Shay and their kids. It was great. The whole family went to Heber Valley Girls Camp and it was one of the funnest camping trips I have experienced. Chris celebrated Father's Day and our anniversary on the same Sunday and then his birthday a few days later. We have dragged Lala all over Lagoon. Chris came home for two splendid weeks. Preston turned 12 and was ordained by him. My parents kidnapped me and the kids and we finally floated the Madison River. (Madison's name sake.) Preston left for scout camp. That is right he was gone one whole week and I think I was the one who got homesick for him. It stunk, (I don't know what I'll do when he is on his mission.)but I was very excited, happy, and ready to see him go be off on his own. Even if it was for a week. My birthday was good. Dani took me and the kids to lunch. It was great to just hang out with her and be with the kids. I admire her for the job she is doing as a mother. I love Coil birthdays. We always seem to drag them out for a week or so. August is now here and summer is almost over and my bud will be gone for half a day. I am so happy for him, so sad for me. Mike and Erin have announced they are having another baby. What a miracle this cute family has experienced with each child. I am so happy for them. I have a triathlon in a week and am ready for the race. Praying I remember to unclip my shoes. Yeah it sucks to fall. At least this time the only one that saw me was my biking partner. She got a good laugh. I don't know where the graceful gene went but it seems that us girls just can't seem to do anything without getting some bruises. After the race we are heading to Montana for one last trip. I am so excited. It is exactly what I need before school starts and Chris gets home. If Chris ever had the option of moving north I would do it in a heartbeat. How peaceful it is. I feel so close to my Heavenly Father there. The beauty is too much for words. (Pictures will be posted soon.)Hopefully by Halloween we will all be together again.

That about sums it up. Between Chris being home, then heading back and going to lagoon it has been a very fast summer. Almost too fast. For now all I can do is take it one day at a time and enjoy the children that have been gifted to me. Life is good.

6 comments:

Erin said...

I am so sorry that you are having to go through these next couple of months without chris, I can't imagine how hard that is. You are doing a GREAT job at home though. I had so much fun with you just hanging out last night, we need to do that more! Fabulous on your race today, I admire you so much for doing those, I would be so intimidated. If it gets quiet in the house call me and we will do something, I need to get out too! Love you!!

Lindsey Ramage said...

You are so lucky to be close enough to go to Montana twice!! You are such a trooper, hang in there Chris will be home soon! I am doing my first tri in Sept. I am really nervous but would love to do one with you sometime! I have only done a 1/2 marathon and that was tough, but I haven't been training as hard for this race and I am nervous. Take Care

Coil Fam said...

I have felt that you were not quite your old energetic, life is great self. I don't know how you have managed to do as well as you have. Well, actually, I do know, because you are so righteous that the Lord will fill in where the rest of us lack. I am so proud of how well you have done and I am impressed with all the things you manage to keep doing...tri's for example. If anyone has an excuse to not get up in the morning, it is you, but you still get up, ride your bike and then race through the rest of the day chasing children from one end of Lagoon to the other. When you list all the things you have done since Chris left, I am even more impressed. A trip to Montana is a great idea. It is definitely a good place to clear your mind and relax. The world prays for you. We all love you.

The Perks of Life! said...

Dragged me?! That would be a serious over-exageration! You know I loved going to Lagoon and called you just as much to go! And you guys were super kind to just let me lay in that peaceful lazy river! Aubrey I freaking love you and am sorry you have to go through all this!!! I could never do this but you... you can and you are. You will get through this and one day your life will be better because of this! I'm glad you've grown closer to Dad. That right there is a huge blessing. And you and Chris will sooo appreciate each other a lot more after this. (not that you needed to grow closer, just saying.) This post makes me sad. You have always been the happy positive sister. NO more sad!!! I love you.

Shay said...

The only thing I have to say is that I love you Aubrey and you are such an amazing person.

Unknown said...

Aubs, I love you...I wish I was closer if only for you guys right now, but am so glad you are blessed with such a great family. I have been thinking of you all nonstop. My heart aches for you & I cannot wait for the day Chris walks through that door to stay! While you have been in a funk you have grown leaps & bounds in my eyes because to me you are a pillar of strength to your children & I cannot wait to see the wealth of blessings that will continue to pour out for the righteous desires of your heart.
I love you, sis!