A Day To Remember

Ten years ago we saw our world change. We saw those who sacrificed, those who ran in when others came out, those who fought, those who cried, those who mourned, and those who lost. I will never forget that day, and I knew then that my life; our life had changed. We knew immediately we would go to war. That anytime soon Chris would be called to duty. We knew at times we would not feel safe or secure.


At times I was hoping we could forget and never remember. I wanted to move on like nothing happened. I wanted to know things would be the same. You would be able to travel safely and not look at someone and question their true intent. You could go to the airport and walk up to the gate to welcome someone home. You could see someone of another religion or race and not question them. But that was not to happen.


This past week I have reflected a lot about that day and how we have changed. How I have changed. What has happened to our little family. What we went through to secure our city, state, and country. To know that Chris has left to fight for our freedoms. To take the war to them.

We new immediately that the little spirits waiting to come to our family would have to wait longer. I remember now why there is a big gap between Madison and Abigail. We wanted another child. I could feel her, hear her. I knew she was ready. Yet, on that day I didn't feel safe bringing antoher child into this world with such chaos and not knowing. Just not knowing.

Little did I know that Abigail would be my life saver. She got me through the lonely nights, the long days between calls from Chris. She took care of me and yet she wasn't even able to speak at the time.

Tonight as our family watched a beautiful documentary about a photographer who followed workers at Ground Zero days after the attack a reverence entered the house. The spirit was overwhelming. Preston and Madison were so young. So innocent. So pure. Abigail and Luke were still in Heaven waiting to come. They have heard us talk about 9/11 but I don't think they fully understood what happened until tonight and seeing the pictures and hearing the stories.

I hope they understand now why Chris left. Why he needed to serve. Why he needed to help those that couldn't help themselves. He didn't serve for gold, or oil, or for selfish reasons. He served because they brought the war to us. He serves because of the compassion he has for this country and the beautiful freedoms we have. He serves because of the love of his family. He serves because of the love of God.

May we never forget. May we remember those who died for us. Those that sacrificed on the planes, ground, and around the world. May their families feel the love and peace knowing they will be remembered.

So as we go through the day tomorrow may there be a reverence, and peace in knowing that yes things have changed, but they will never get our freedom, or break our spirits. That we as a family and a blessed country will do what we can to honor those who have fallen, honor those who have served and still serve.

Chris may you continue to know that what you are doing is right and that we will be next to you supporting you on.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

It came and went...

Summer that is. It flew so quickly it's sad to see it go. I have enjoyed the kids so much. We had a great time going to Ohio, camping, playing in the muck and mud and just being a lazy summer.

So as they all go to school today; Preston in Junior High, with the hottest gym teacher; Maddie ruling the school; Abbie enjoying the new teacher; and Luke getting used to school lunch and a full day; I contemplate what to do.

There is so much I am excited to do. I can't wait to start painting. Starting with the laundry room. Slowly working my way around the house. It will take a while but I am excited. I can now go to the temple and not worry about picking someone up from kindergarten or pre-school. That's a first in over 8 years.

But mostly I am excited to find me again and do what I need to for my family. Here's to a great new school year and the new adventures.

P.S. Lala is Preston's gym teacher. I think it's awesome that my little Sis is teaching my child. Go here to learn about her adventure and how she got the most awesomest job! http://calebnlauren.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2010-10-20T19%3A22%3A00-06%3A00&max-results=3

15 Years and Counting

June 20, 1996 was a special day. The day my new life started. The day I married my sweetheart. Chris and I have now been married for 15 years, we have 4 children, a dog, and a house. You would think it sounds like the typical American family. Yet, in these past few weeks I have learned we are not the typical family we are special. We have made it through challenges, heartache, trials and separations. (Not marital separation, but military.) If there were ever times where life would get rocky we would come closer together as husband and wife and endure the challenge. Life without Chris would be so hard. (I know I did it for 2 years.) I can't imagine my life without the father of my children being by my side.

So here's to Chris. The man who makes sure I am home with my children. The man who will come home from work late because he is picking the kids up from swim. The man who proudly puts on a white shirt and tie every Sunday and sets an examle for Preston. The man who treats me like a lady and let's Madison and Abigail see how they should be treated someday by their future spouse. The man who proudly wears his military uniform and loves our country so much that Luke knows what it means to be a true soldier. The man who laughs with me, cries with me, listens to me, but most importantly loves me.

Love You Chris more and more. May the next 15 years be as adventerous and funfilled and exciting as the last 15 have.

My Time

As she peacefully lays there I could feel her slipping. I quietly tell her "Grandpa is here. He is waiting for you. You need to go and dance with him." No response, no smile, no tear, she grunts. I know she hears me. I tell her about the kids. I tell her to say "Hi" to Grandpa. I tell her about the things we did as kids. (D, I even tell her a little secret.) She grunts when it's something funny, but mostly she is just trying to breathe.

For three days I have lifted her, cleaned her, brushed, rubbed and layed with her. I help to dress her. Thinking of how life can play unfair at times. Wondering why? Why this way? Why not quickly? I realize then it was not for her, it was for me and my mom. I know that my mom could not do this alone. She needed me. She needed me to lift Grandma. She needed me to hold both their hands. She needed me to reassure her it was okay. She needed to hear that Grandpa was there. And he was.

So as she detoriates day by day I wonder. Will my time with her matter? Will she know I love her? Does she know she will be missed? Who is going to call me and say "Are you here yet?" As she waits on the front porch. Oh, how I will miss coming around the corner and see her sitting there. But I can't focus on that now. I have to be strong. I have to sit and listen to the nurse because Mom can't.

So tonight my time comes and as quickly it goes. I am laying there with her. Carrying on as if she is responding. Then silence and peace. The spirit quietly whispers, "You need to go now, you need to leave. Your time is done." The spirit is telling me my time is done. I need to leave the room and let my Mom sit with her Mother.

I can't leave the area. I go into the next room knowing what is happening. Knowing that her time here on earth is done. I quietly go into the room and see her. I know. I look over and it is 5:02. I quietly slip out go to the top of the stairs and say to Dad 5:02. He asks what do you mean? I again say 5:02 and go back to the room. I hear them come. As we circle around her I feel them.

She knows. She knows she is loved. She knows she will be missed. And she knows everything will be okay.

My time will never be forgotten. My time will be cherished. My time to show her the love she has always shown me.

"Love You More." I hear her in my mind. I will never forget my times she tells me that.

Got You!

You guys are so easy to trick. Man, it wasn't Madison, she's grounded. She couldn't get on.
It was Me, Preston.So I got you!
(: (: (: Ha, ha, ha!

What needs to happen...

Is that my mom needs to make more blogs. To me it would be nice.
Sincerly,
Madi

The Tyler Fish...

Yesterday, 12 February 2011, Preston AND Madison participated in a swim meet in Hyrum, Utah at Mountain Crest High School. Sadly, both Aubrey and I forgot to grab the camera so we don't have any pictures from this meet. Preston competed in three races, and Madison competed in just one. Preston swam in the 50m Freestyle, Breaststroke, and Backstroke for the 11 & 12 year old boys. Madison swam in the 50m Backstroke for the 11 &12 year old girls. Both did very well. We are very pleased with how they did.

Preston posted 47.41 seconds in the 50m Breaststroke, 39.33 seconds in the 50m Freestyle, and 47.33 in the 50m Backstroke. All three times are personal bests for Preston.

Madison posted 1:31.23 in the 50m Backstroke. She swam her heart out and her arms moved just the way they were supposed to. Now she just needs to work on her kick. She did well for her first ever meet.

The next meet is coming up the first weekend in March and we expect Preston, Madison, and Abigail will all compete this time around. We also expect that Preston and Madison will improve their times and Abbie will swim beautifully in her first ever competition.

The Tyler Fish... will Luke be next? Stay tuned.

My Weekend and our Special Guest...

My weekend consisted of puzzle making, donuts and the smell of coffee. I had such a wonderful time. It was a treat and honor for me to have our special guest come and stay. The kids were wonderful and Chris was very patient.

Friday my mom called and asked if Grandma could come and stay with us for the night. I was so excited I couldn't wait for Chris to get home so I could go and get her. There are many things my Grandma loves but her two faves are donuts and coffee. I knew where to get the donuts but not sure what to do about coffee. So we stopped at her favorite store and I ran in for the donuts. While there I decided to look in the coffee aisle and see if they had individual packets. Sure enough, Folgers her favorite, had a box of packets and I was excited. The smell of coffee brings back so many memories of our trips to Kansas. We always knew that when we arrived after a 15 hour car trip that Grandma would have dinner ready for us. It didn't matter how late we got there the mashed potatoes and fried chicken would still be warm and fresh. Sometimes I swear I could smell dinner all the way from Cimmaron. (About 20 miles away from Dodge City.) We would be so excited. My favorite though was waking up in the morning to the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee. Even though I don't drink it I do love the smell. The memories I have had while visiting her I will always treasure.

Now it was my turn to host her. I wanted it to be the best. When I showed her the coffee she just laughed her little laugh and said "How did you know?" She's my Grandma and I will always know.

So off we were to my house. We pulled up and she immediately came in sat at the table and pulled out her puzzle. (Another of her loves.) She had been saving it because that is what we got her for Christmas. So she and I sat down Friday night to a puzzle and donuts.

Saturday I got up and fixed her coffee and got her a donut and away she went on the puzzle. It was so much fun. I have missed spending time with her and just talking. It was nice to have her stay with us. This past weekend is something I will treasure. Her and me with a box of donuts and a new puzzle.

She has taught me the tricks of cooking along with my mother. She has given me a love for reading. She is patient and very observant. She cares for anyone she can. For the last 5 years she has knitted hats for my children and all their classmates at school. I figure she has made about 500 hundred hats for neighbors, friends, family, and anyone else she can think of. She has taught me about compassion and love for others. I always enjoy the times we get to chat and be together and this weekend couldn't have been better. Love You Grandma. (Love you more.)